Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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