yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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