there's paper in my vomit.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
