PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
