I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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