WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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