one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
