Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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