I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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