Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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