how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Enjoy the penises
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
