Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He did a backflip because drugs
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