I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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