bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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