so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
