'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
