He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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