you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
