My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
