Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
