you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
