i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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