the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
