it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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