I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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