Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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