you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
