i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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