They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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