I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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