I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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