Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
