So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
