i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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