So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
