i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
