The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
