proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
