I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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