just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
