Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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