Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
