It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
