So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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