I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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