I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
