Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish my penis had a tongue
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
