apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
