i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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