If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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