You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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