he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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