Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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