I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
