I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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